Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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