i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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