is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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