Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
And then he peed in my hair
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