Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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