Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
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I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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