it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
