I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
