i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
