He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
