I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
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I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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