coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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