can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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