Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
