Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize