okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
