people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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