Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
