I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
