I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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