I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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