At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
