Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
