the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
