yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
