I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
accomplished twins. life is a go
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
