We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
