We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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