and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
