Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
