So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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