I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
