so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
