What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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