i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize