dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
