apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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