This is not my ceiling
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
