did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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