I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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