Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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