smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
