Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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