and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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