You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
