i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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