I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
