i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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