You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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