so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
