I'm eating all of the evidence.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
