..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Two words: blizzard sex
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
