i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
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I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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