O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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