Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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