dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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