Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Its about making memories worth repressing
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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