i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
