He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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