Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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