Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
