i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
