don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize