she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
