tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
